What Do You Do When The Power Goes Out?

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What do you do when the power goes out?

I’ve been without power since yesterday around 4:30 PM.  I kept thinking it would come back on, but it hasn’t.

The storms in Texas have caused hundreds of thousands of people to be without power the past few days and it sounds like 100,000 homes are out just in the area I live in alone, in Dallas.

Driving around to try and catch a yoga class last night seemed impossible.  And actually it was because I didn’t make it in time.  Most of the stoplights were out.  I had people jet out in front of me running these imaginary stoplights and it seemed that frustrated people were all around.  Once I made it to where I wanted to go, I couldn’t even find a parking place because the shopping center was so packed with people circling around three floors of a parking garage to find a space, so I just left and went to eat dinner instead.

It took my boyfriend 3 hours to get home last night and it took my sister an hour and 1/2 to drive a mile and 1/2.  She had her 2-year-old little girl in the car and had to get creative on how to entertain her.  She picked up dinner in the car and just improvised with what was in front of her until she got home.  Smart woman 🙂

It was hot last night and a little hard to sleep, but it made me think about all of the things that we take for granted and it made my gratefulness journal easy to write in this morning. I am grateful that I have a comfortable bed to sleep in and that I can find rest.  I am grateful that I have electricity (normally ;).  I am grateful that I have things that keep me warm and cool me off when I sleep.  I am grateful that we have the ability to switch a switch on the wall and can automatically see much better.  It’s amazing how even after hours of walking around with a flashlight and seeing by candlelight, you still switch it on out of habit over and over again.  It made me laugh each time.

We can complain, get worked up in traffic, yell, scream and get frustrated and feel like crap or we can decide to enjoy the silence when lying in bed thinking about what it was like for people back in the day when they had no electricity and count all the things we have to be grateful for and look forward to when we have it again.  I’m choosing the latter.

So, as I sit here on a hard bench in a restaurant in a tiny spot where I could find an outlet to charge my phone, be on my computer and get wifi, I’m grateful that I could find a place to get some work done.  I’m also choosing to find things I can appreciate about the others surrounding me that our in the same situation I am after catching myself from starting to be annoyed that their voices were too loud and annoying because they were so close to me 🙂 I promise life is much more fun this way.

What can you choose to be grateful for despite your circumstances today?

How Fulfilling Are Your Relationships? Wanna Make Em Better?

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How fulfilling are your relationships?  I’ll have what these people are having!  I’m not sure why there are five females to each male here, but let’s just go with it…

What if all of your relationships were this fun and playful?  I believe they can be.  OK, so maybe not every moment, but the majority of the time.  That’s why I’m holding a “Fulfilling Relationship Workshop” on August 23rd in Dallas and I’m so excited about it!

You see, I used to be an expert at sabotaging my relationships and was the queen of everything you don’t want to do in a relationship to have them fail and have yourself or others end up getting hurt along the way, in return, feeling horrible about yourself.  I actually mastered it over the years until I got fed up with it and decided I wanted to change.  Sometimes we have to look and see if there is a common denominator of why things aren’t working.  Sometimes we find that it’s us 🙂  And I’ve grown to love finding out how I can learn and improve myself along this journey of life, even if it’s hard sometimes.

Six years of coaching and hard work on myself and my issues later…I won’t call myself a master of relationships since I am, of course, human, but I will say that I’ve learned many things along the way to make my relationship one that I find to be extremely fulfilling.  Like, I have to force myself to do other things sometimes because all I want to do is hang out and have fun together.

I want to help others who could be like I used to be see why they do the things they do in relationships and continue to repeat the same patterns learn what they really want in a relationship, how to be a great partner and how to attract what they want into their life.

This workshop is great for anyone who is wanting to be in a relationship, but never seems to find the “right” match, someone who is currently unfulfilled in their relationship and would like to make it better or someone who wants to better their relationships with friends and family.

If anything, it’s going to be a day to do some deep soul searching, followed by creating the future that you DO want and having fun with other likeminded individuals.

I would love to have you join us!  Please see the following link for more details and to register http://findyourtriessence.com/workshops-events/

If you’re interested and finances are what would keep you from coming, email me and we’ll work something out tessa@findyourtriessence.com.  I don’t want any willing participants to miss out on this fun opportunity!

Wishing you all the most fulfilled relationships along your journey.  May you have the urge to leap in the water like these peeps above.  And if you don’t, may you do it anyway and see how it makes you feel.  What’s the worst that can happen?  If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again.

Do You Know How Distracted You Are?

Curt Steinhorst - 1 Preferred

Do you know how distracted you are?  This guy certainly does!

Meet my friend, Curt Steinhorst, the distraction expert.

Curt and I worked together many years ago booking speakers and celebrities for corporate events.  Now, Curt owns his own business helping speakers and celebrities perfect their speeches, owns his own speakers bureau where you can book any of those people that you wish and he is also an excellent speaker himself.

I have been working with Curt recently to help manage his speaking business and I’m amazed at all that I have learned from him and how much more productive I’ve been the past few weeks. Like, more productive than I’ve been in months, if not years!

I won’t give away all his secrets (not to worry, his website is at the bottom of this post), but there are some amazing tools and techniques out there that can keep us from being so distracted. Curt is so excited about this topic he’s even writing a book about it and thinks it’s the most important issue that organizations face today. With all the iPhones and other technology we have coming at us these days, actual productive work has never been more challenging.

Did you know it takes an average of 23 minutes to get back on task once we have become distracted?  How scary is that?

When you sit down to do a task what all do you have going on?  Do you have music playing in the background, your cell phone on your desk just waiting for the next text to come through, your email, calendar, google, Facebook and other windows open on your computer?  It’s a wonder we ever get anything done at all.

The next time you sit down to do an important task, I’d like to challenge you to see if you can shut off everything else and close out all the other tabs and just focus on that task.  See if you are able to get more done.  You might be surprised!

Until next time, cheers to a more productive next couple of weeks!

To find out more information on Curt Steinhorst, check out: www.curtsteinhorst.com

What Are Your Expectations?

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What are your expectations?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot today as I went to yoga this morning expecting my favorite teacher to be teaching and walked in the door to find a sub would be leading us through the class.  This was someone that I had never met before and I automatically assumed I wasn’t going to enjoy class as much as I normally would since it wasn’t my favorite teacher.

I realize picking “favorites” isn’t probably the best thing to do, especially with yoga. I could have just been grateful that I had the opportunity to practice at 9AM on a Friday.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could just let anyone instruct us through our practice and not judge or compare one teacher from the next?  I wish I could, but the truth is I do have a certain style that I prefer and actually we all deserve to have our preferences, right?!

The beauty of it was that as soon as the teacher walked into the room, I could see her bright light shining and could tell that she had a beautiful soul and a lot to offer us (at least in my opinion :)).  The class was great and I really liked her teaching style a lot and it taught me a lesson around expectations.  I expected one thing and got another and it was a breath of fresh air and ended up being a rewarding lesson for me to learn that I can go into situations with eagerness to be surprised and delighted vs. expecting the worst or something negative if something doesn’t totally go my way.

On my 2014 vision board I put “Love Without Expectations” and I try and look at it as much as possible for a reminder.  This one I have a little more challenge with because I think we all expect a lot out of the people that we love.  I’m working on trying not to keep score and pay attention to who does what in my close relationships and to go more just out of doing what I want to out of love no matter what others do.

I challenge you to do the same.  There are a lot of upsets around what we think others “should” do for us, especially when we take the time to do something for them.  How about we focus more on what we can do for others without expecting anything in return? What if each time we did something for others it brought more joy to our hearts than if someone did something for us?

You can spend a lot of wasted hours being upset with people about things they never promised to do in the first place.  Or you can spend countless hours with your heart full of joy when you love others and act on what you are feeling and what you want to do for them and then expect nothing in return.

Which will you choose?

Until next time…

Do You Ever Make It A Point To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone?

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Do you ever make it a point to get out of your comfort zone?

I made it a point to get out of mine last week.  I taught my boyfriend yoga for the first time at one of my group classes.

We had talked about him coming early on when we first started dating and then I think as more time passed I kind of secretly maybe didn’t want him to anymore.  Probably because he’s done yoga for years and has had the privilege of taking from some pretty amazing teachers, so I believe a bit of my perfectionism I’ve tried to put to rest was trying to awake from a nap when the time came.  I found myself quite anxious and a little nauseous all day until it was time for us to drive over to the studio.

Instead of pretending all was good and possibly having my voice shake for an hour, I just called it out for what it was at the beginning of class and let everyone know how nervous I was and why and invited them to join me during class to get out of their comfort zones as well.  I did things we’d never done before with this particular group and had everyone play around with different versions of hopping on their feet as a prep for handstands and the option to do handstands later in the class against the wall.

After about 10 minutes, I loosened up a bit and stopped sounding like a drill sergeant with zero personality and started bringing some lightness into the class.  I have to admit though, I didn’t look at him too much knowing I could possibly get a little distracted.

At the end of class, I thanked everyone and told him I loved him and how happy I was to have him in class and was pretty thankful that first time was over.  Despite being out of my comfort zone, I made it through and I didn’t die.  In fact, I know I will be a better teacher because of it.  Funny how you could put me in a room full of hundreds of people easier than doing it in front of one particular person.  Amazing how silly we can be at times, isn’t it?  And now I’d be totally cool with him coming anytime!

What would get you out of your comfort zone?  I think we all have many things we could put on that list.

What would it take to make you willing to do one of those things and make a point to get out of your comfort zone?

Guess what?!  I’m pretty sure if you commit to doing one of those things that you won’t die either.  And it will probably make you a little stronger in that area, have more confidence or possibly even cause you to experience a little magic!

Wishing you all the strength, confidence and magic one can muster…

Oh, and p.s. everyone said it was the best class I’ve taught so far.  Go figure 😉

Do You Help Others Live Out Their Passions And Be Their Best?

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Do you help others live out their passions and be their best?  I know someone who does an incredible job at doing just that and I’m having the privilege of working with him on a special project right now.  His name is Hal Samples and he’s in the middle of producing a film that will be launching April 1st.  You can see more information about it on his blog that he posted yesterday:  http://halsamples.com/blog

Throughout coaching him and assisting him with the film, I have learned so much through watching video footage that he has filmed over the past 10 years, along with interviewing people that he has known throughout the years that know him very well and that he has greatly influenced.

I had an epiphany the other night because it hit me that we are both actually trying to accomplish the same goal, we just do it in different ways.  I say that my greatest passion is helping people live their life to their fullest potential.  I’m learning that one of his many passions is getting people in touch with their passions and through speaking the truth in love, he inspires them to go and live them out.  My work is through coaching others.  His work is portrayed through his art whether it be photography or film or through just having conversations with others or having people witness his life and actions.

The funny thing I realized the other day is that I’m doing for him what he does for others. I’m helping him live out his dream and passion by being there to speak the truth in love, while holding him accountable (see photo of project map above :)).  Considering I think he’s a genius, it’s a great reminder for me that sometimes in order for us to be the best us we can be (even for a genius!), we need someone there to speak the truth in love and challenge us to do things differently every once in a while.  I know I’ve had many years worth of a couple of coaches working with me in the past to do the same for me and I feel like I literally owe them my life.  If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be living out my dreams today, including being a part of this amazing project.  Did I mention I’m having the time of my life?

What dreams can you challenge yourself to take a step towards today?  Do you have someone who can lovingly speak the truth to you in your life?  If not, would you be willing to find someone?

Happy weekend!

Are You In Love With You?

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Are you in love with you?  I hope so.

I strongly believe that in order to be able to fully love another and give the best of yourself and love someone as they deserve to be treated and loved, you must be in love with you first.

Sometimes, that can sound like a stretch, so perhaps as a starting point, we could say that you at least need to like yourself a whole big bunch.

Unfortunately, for many years, I didn’t have much love for myself.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  I pretty much couldn’t stand myself.  I didn’t know this for a very long time, but I feel so fortunate that I finally figured this out.

Learning to love myself wasn’t a super quick or easy process, but it was the best gift that I could have ever given myself as well as anyone else in my life that receives love from me.

There are many people that I love in my life and I feel like those people have gained a better me and get more love from me by me being able to work through things I needed to and then fall in love with myself.

And I can honestly say that I am head over heels in love with someone romantically and have more love for this person than I ever knew would be possible.  And again, I feel that he benefits from me being able to love myself now.

This self-love is not a conceded love or a selfish love and allows me to have a healthy love with others.  My romantic relationship is the best one I have ever had in my life and I feel it is because I have learned to love myself.  When you learn to love yourself and can be secure in who you are, you can then be secure in your relationships.  We are loving, open and passionate with one another and have trust, respect and confidence in our relationship and it is also a very relaxed, yet fun relationship!  I am convinced that would not be possible if I didn’t love myself.  First off, for me to figure out what I actually wanted in a relationship and then, second, for me to then actually love myself enough to let myself take in all of the overwhelming feelings (in a good way!) that come with being in love and being very close to someone!

I honestly think I spent the majority of my life not loving myself up until a few years ago.  I would self-sabotage myself all the time in multiple different ways.  I would let my fears and insecurities keep me from doing everything I would dream of doing and being.  I would do things to hurt others because I was hurting on the inside.

I’m not saying times can’t creep back in there sometimes.  Last week, due to a certain fun time of the month for my female friends out there (I know, sorry excuse, but it just is what it is ;)) I was feeling totally crappy in general and about myself.  Basically, I had no love for myself for a few days and was doing nothing to show love to myself either to make myself feel better.  I didn’t take a break or rest or do yoga or take a long bath or get a massage.  I just kept ignoring how I was feeling and became grumpier and yuckier.

Unfortunately, my sweet love had to receive the end of that and the impact of how I was feeling.  I was downright pretty much mean and judgmental and spoke my mind about things that I had no business talking about when I felt bed and was one of the most opinionated people on the planet (or at least it felt like it).  Luckily, it only lasted a day or so, but I don’t like the person I was being when I wasn’t loving myself and I know he didn’t either even though he was sweet enough to put up with me and continue to be nice even when I wasn’t (probably crossing his fingers it would pass asap ;)).

I recognized what was happening and did nothing about it.  Had I done a better job of pulling myself away and given myself space and did something for myself and shown myself love and chosen to love myself anyway, that probably wouldn’t have happened.

Therefore, I have made a commitment in the future when I know that is happening to make sure and remove myself from a situation where I could say hurtful things or not be coming from my best, which normally, is a place of love.

I am fully committed to living my life from a place of love and when I see myself moving away from that place to quickly do something to get myself back to it.

My wish for you, not only today, but all days, is to find ways to love yourself.  If you can find things to appreciate and love about yourself, your love and relationships will be so much better.  If you are having a day where you are feeling all alone and like you don’t have someone to share this special day with, spend time loving yourself.  Write down three things you love or can appreciate about yourself and then find one thing you can do for yourself this afternoon or evening to show yourself love.

What do you love to do?  Go on a walk?  Paint?  Listen to your favorite music?  Read a book?  Take a long bath?  Watch a fun movie and relax and lay on the couch?  Whatever you know makes your heart smile, go and do it today!

Here’s wishing you and yours a Happy Valentine’s Day and a wonderful and safe weekend.

So much love and then some xoxoxo

Sometimes You Just Need To Stay In It…

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This week I was reminded that sometimes, under certain circumstances, you just need to stay in it.

For the past eight months, I’ve been teaching yoga each week on a voluntary basis to a wonderful group of children that I adore and want the best for and this week I found myself wanting to quit and give up.

It’s not that the children are bad, so don’t misunderstand me when I say that sometimes it can be a bit chaotic when you try to teach yoga to 30 kids in a gym that would possibly rather be playing basketball instead.  The kids are just being kids and trying to have a good time.

I started to doubt that it was doing anything for them and tried to convince myself that they would rather be playing basketball anyway.

I was considering talking to someone at the organization that afternoon to tell them that I wasn’t going to be able to come anymore.  I had even convinced myself that since I had picked up another class that evening at a different location that I shouldn’t try and do both (although, I knew I had plenty of time to get to both classes in one evening).

Then, someone came up and told me exactly what I needed to hear…  They said how amazing they thought it was that I was giving these kids an opportunity that they would never have otherwise to get to do something that they may never be exposed to if I wasn’t coming to teach them.  They told me how even though I may not see it that their faces light up when they see me come into the gym and that he could tell a difference of what yoga is doing for them.

Therefore, this week I’ve been looking at the fact that sometimes it’s great to just stay in it. The same goes for yoga.  There are so many times where I want to come out of a pose because I think it’s hard or I try and convince myself I’m not strong enough to keep holding it, but if I find the strength to tell myself to stay in it then I can and the rewards can be so incredible in what it does for my mind, body and soul.

I’m not saying that all circumstances are worth staying in (there are so many that people actually need to choose to leave!), but there are so many that are.  I’ve been noticing when things get tough in my life how often I want to just run away vs. staying in it.  Running away may be the easier thing right in the moment, but may cost us the most in the long run.

If I can reach one child in that class and have it make a difference in their life, then it’s worth staying in it.  What areas in your life do you possibly find challenging that you may be wanting to run away from and would you be willing to consider staying in them to see the reward that could come in the long run?

Would you be willing to be honest with yourself and see if it’s really something that is worth running away from or if it is something that the benefit could be so much greater if you just stayed in it?

What are the possibilities of what could happen if you stayed?  What is the cost if you stay vs. the cost of if you were to leave?

Do You Really Know The People That You Are Judging?

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Do you really know the people that you are judging?

As I was getting some work done at a coffee shop today, I was reminded of this quote by Abraham Lincoln.  Even though I try not to, sometimes I make judgments about people when I don’t even know anything about them.

I had an interaction with someone that I had never met before where I noticed that I began labeling them as “not very friendly” and “unhappy” and a little “rude” without knowing anything about their situation.

It’s amazing to me how much first impressions really can impact what others think of you and I was reminded of that as well.  How do I come across the first time that people meet me?  Am I always present and make them feel like I’m 100% with them and have them feel heard or like I see them for who they really are?  I wish I could say that I do that all the time.

When I come across people that I find myself starting to judge, I try and catch myself and start to ask myself questions to get more curious about who they really are.

I’d like to challenge you to try and catch yourself the next time you find yourself judging someone to ask yourself a few questions and have compassion for what could be going on in their lives that you will never know about.

Here are a few possibilities of questions that you could ask yourself:

1)  I wonder what they might have experienced in their life to have them have this type of personality?

2.  I wonder what they might have going on in their life today that I am not aware of? Perhaps someone they love dearly is really sick or they could have lost a loved one recently.  Maybe they lost their job and are wondering how they are going to be able to pay the bills.  Or maybe an important relationship that they cherished has just come to an abrupt ending.

3.  I wonder what they are yearning for in their life and not receiving or don’t know how to ask for and what kind of hurt they might be feeling as a result?

Occasionally, we get the opportunity to actually learn more about the people that we judge and sometimes it’s a shocking experience to realize the world that they are living in every day.  I’ve even had experiences where once I have learned more about someone I’m actually amazed that they are able to do the thing that I was judging them for before and thinking things could be a lot worse.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend filled with love and compassion.

How To Leave Work Behind This Holiday Season

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Last night, during a yoga class I was taking, I was reminded of a blog I wrote last year for the Institute for Health and Human Potential.  Getting prepared for the holidays can be such a stressful time trying to figure out how to get all of your work done before you leave the office and how to set yourself up to not be really stressed when you return.

You can read the article with my suggestions of how to set yourself up for the holidays here:  How to leave work behind this holiday season

With all of the hustle and bustle, sometimes we just need to take time to slow down.  We’re going to get done what we are going to get done, but the key is to try and stay as calm as we can through the whole experience and stay present and enjoy ourselves and this season with friends and family.

My yoga instructor last night was having us inhale and say the word “slow” to ourselves and exhale and say the word “down” to ourselves.  I thought that was another helpful tip for the holidays.

Here’s wishing you all a safe, peaceful, loving and joyful holiday season and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Until next year…