How Much Do You Believe In Yourself?











“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.” – Robert Collier

I love this quote and it makes me wonder why some of us believe in ourselves and some of us don’t.

At what point do we lose our confidence and think we aren’t capable of certain things?

Is it when we hear growing up that we are not good at x but good at something else?

Is it when we get our heart broken for the first time that we lose confidence in ourselves?

Is it when we try something and fail, even on the first go round?

At what point do we begin to stop loving ourselves enough to believe in ourselves?

I have done many things throughout the course of my life that I wasn’t very proud of and punished myself for them over many years.  I also had some self hatred for myself and self sabotage going on until I had enough and decided to get some help and let coaches show me how much I had stopped loving myself.

Would you be willing to ask yourself these questions?

Where do you judge yourself?

Are your thoughts to yourself loving or critical?

When I am working with my life coaching clients, I’m amazed at how much we judge ourselves and the amount of self doubt we can have.

Do you believe you are capable of doing anything you want to do?  If not, why not?  And I don’t necessarily mean something like going to the Olympics if you haven’t been training to be an athlete for years, but even some of the simple things you’d like to do, but don’t believe that you can.  Things like starting a new career or your own business, finishing school, writing a book, having a healthy relationship, having a child, etc.

Would you be willing to start being a little more kinder to yourself?  You know, we are what we think we are and we attract what we are thinking about, so the more we think negatively about ourselves, the more we will continue to feel that way and keep acting as we tell ourselves we are.

What if you took the next week and only thought positive things about yourself?  You could make a list of positive characteristics that you have and read them to yourself a couple of times a day and be grateful that you are those wonderful things.

Then, when you feel the negative self talk creeping up, go back to the list.  If you practice looking at them enough, you will remember some of them when you begin to get caught up in those moments and begin to say them to yourself until it becomes natural to feel that way about yourself and regain your confidence in who you are.  We all have unique gifts, talents and characteristics that we can appreciate.  And you’d be amazed at how much others will begin to see them too (if they are not already) when we start to appreciate them and are living them ourselves.

The best thing you can do in those moments of self doubt and negative talk is to switch to focusing on the positive and be grateful that you have those beautiful characteristics.  You might be surprised at how far being grateful for what you do have can get you and you might even start to find yourself making goals and steps towards some of the things you’d like to accomplish.

I challenge you to start listening to what you tell yourself and ask yourself if that is really true and perhaps start working towards proving yourself wrong.  And if you really want to get crazy, add in some words that you know you have faith you can be and want to be like, “I am confident” or “I am successful” and sit back and watch what happens 😉

Are You In Love With You?


Are you in love with you?  I hope so.

I strongly believe that in order to be able to fully love another and give the best of yourself and love someone as they deserve to be treated and loved, you must be in love with you first.

Sometimes, that can sound like a stretch, so perhaps as a starting point, we could say that you at least need to like yourself a whole big bunch.

Unfortunately, for many years, I didn’t have much love for myself.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  I pretty much couldn’t stand myself.  I didn’t know this for a very long time, but I feel so fortunate that I finally figured this out.

Learning to love myself wasn’t a super quick or easy process, but it was the best gift that I could have ever given myself as well as anyone else in my life that receives love from me.

There are many people that I love in my life and I feel like those people have gained a better me and get more love from me by me being able to work through things I needed to and then fall in love with myself.

And I can honestly say that I am head over heels in love with someone romantically and have more love for this person than I ever knew would be possible.  And again, I feel that he benefits from me being able to love myself now.

This self-love is not a conceded love or a selfish love and allows me to have a healthy love with others.  My romantic relationship is the best one I have ever had in my life and I feel it is because I have learned to love myself.  When you learn to love yourself and can be secure in who you are, you can then be secure in your relationships.  We are loving, open and passionate with one another and have trust, respect and confidence in our relationship and it is also a very relaxed, yet fun relationship!  I am convinced that would not be possible if I didn’t love myself.  First off, for me to figure out what I actually wanted in a relationship and then, second, for me to then actually love myself enough to let myself take in all of the overwhelming feelings (in a good way!) that come with being in love and being very close to someone!

I honestly think I spent the majority of my life not loving myself up until a few years ago.  I would self-sabotage myself all the time in multiple different ways.  I would let my fears and insecurities keep me from doing everything I would dream of doing and being.  I would do things to hurt others because I was hurting on the inside.

I’m not saying times can’t creep back in there sometimes.  Last week, due to a certain fun time of the month for my female friends out there (I know, sorry excuse, but it just is what it is ;)) I was feeling totally crappy in general and about myself.  Basically, I had no love for myself for a few days and was doing nothing to show love to myself either to make myself feel better.  I didn’t take a break or rest or do yoga or take a long bath or get a massage.  I just kept ignoring how I was feeling and became grumpier and yuckier.

Unfortunately, my sweet love had to receive the end of that and the impact of how I was feeling.  I was downright pretty much mean and judgmental and spoke my mind about things that I had no business talking about when I felt bed and was one of the most opinionated people on the planet (or at least it felt like it).  Luckily, it only lasted a day or so, but I don’t like the person I was being when I wasn’t loving myself and I know he didn’t either even though he was sweet enough to put up with me and continue to be nice even when I wasn’t (probably crossing his fingers it would pass asap ;)).

I recognized what was happening and did nothing about it.  Had I done a better job of pulling myself away and given myself space and did something for myself and shown myself love and chosen to love myself anyway, that probably wouldn’t have happened.

Therefore, I have made a commitment in the future when I know that is happening to make sure and remove myself from a situation where I could say hurtful things or not be coming from my best, which normally, is a place of love.

I am fully committed to living my life from a place of love and when I see myself moving away from that place to quickly do something to get myself back to it.

My wish for you, not only today, but all days, is to find ways to love yourself.  If you can find things to appreciate and love about yourself, your love and relationships will be so much better.  If you are having a day where you are feeling all alone and like you don’t have someone to share this special day with, spend time loving yourself.  Write down three things you love or can appreciate about yourself and then find one thing you can do for yourself this afternoon or evening to show yourself love.

What do you love to do?  Go on a walk?  Paint?  Listen to your favorite music?  Read a book?  Take a long bath?  Watch a fun movie and relax and lay on the couch?  Whatever you know makes your heart smile, go and do it today!

Here’s wishing you and yours a Happy Valentine’s Day and a wonderful and safe weekend.

So much love and then some xoxoxo