I Got Married Friday…Are You Happy About It?

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I got married Friday…are you happy about it?

What an odd question, right?

What I mean by that is what does something like a happy moment like this for me bring up for you?  Are you happy and excited for me or do you have any thoughts around how you wish you were married or engaged, wish your relationship was still fresh and new or even thinking that I’m crazy for getting married!?!?

And, what do you want for yourself?

Because if you want a relationship or you want marriage and you look at people who are right in the middle of it and you have any other feeling other than joy and happiness for that person, you just might be causing a relationship to be further and further out of reach for you.  Or, at least a really healthy one or one that you will want long term.

Let me back up a minute so this doesn’t sound like I’m coming from a harsh place as I want this to come from the most loving place as possible…

I was listening to webinar recently about huge business and financial success and I loved that what I gathered from it was the reminder that if those things are something that you want and when you see others that have it that if we are happy for them, we can attract that even closer to ourselves.  Like attracts like.  And yes, I believe in prayer and timing and all sorts of other things too, but I also know without a doubt in my mind that like attracts like.  If we are having the best day of our life, we come in contact with other happy people.  If we are negative Nelly, somehow we come in contact with negative people.  And the list goes on and on.

My favorite thing that this guy said (from memory, so butchered a bit I’m sure and I so wish I could remember his name to reference him here!) was if you look at the guy driving the Porsche and you have any sort of negative views around people with money and stereotypes such as people with money are bad people in any way and you want to be a good person, then you will never be as wealthy and successful as you want to be because what you want and what you think and believe don’t match up.  Or if you obviously think that you could never afford something like that, more than likely you won’t ever be able to.  He suggested thinking “wow, he must have done a lot of great things for people to be able to afford a car like that” instead and I loved that!

I met my husband (oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just typed husband!) when I was in the healthiest place I’ve ever been in in my life emotionally and spiritually and it is no surprise to me that I attracted someone that also was in that healthy space.  And yes, it might have taken me years of personal development to get in that space and not so much for him, but hey, we are all different, right!?!?!? 😉

But, for about a year before we met, I was surrounded by people a lot younger than I am getting married and I could have easily slipped into the whole mindset of “I’m going to be alone”, “I’m getting too old”, etc.

But, you know what?  I wanted a relationship and I dreamed of a healthy relationship with so much love and respect for one another and there was never an ounce of doubt in my mind that I was not going to have a beautiful one.   And I do.

And, I do.

With tears of joy and wishing you the same…

Photo credit:  Emily Davis – http://emilydavisphoto.com Taken at our engagement on a rooftop in Denton, Texas 🙂

Do You Practice What You Preach?

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Do you practice what you preach?

Recently I got very serious when I asked myself this question.  You see, I’ve been in the speaking and training industry for the past 12 years and over that span I’ve seen a lot of people that are preaching things all day long that aren’t necessarily walking the talk.

I don’t mean everyone by any means, but I have seen a common thread of it in my time.  That being said, I took a good hard look at myself in the past few months and have asked myself that very question.  Do I practice what I preach?  And honestly, the answer was no.

Then I decided to make some changes.  I think sometimes we teach the things we need the most.  As a life coach and yoga instructor I often find myself telling clients exactly what I need to hear and I take it as a great reminder to continue doing the things that I know when I do them I achieve great results.

So, when I created Daily Reset Break, I realized that I need it possibly more than anyone else. Therefore, my New Year’s Resolution was to do all of my Daily Reset Break videos.  And, I am excited to say that I have!  I can’t say that I have done them on a daily basis and have to be honest and share that some days I’ve had to catch up on a few, but I am doing them and that’s all that matters to me right now.

And you know what!?!?!?!?  I had a fun moment today when I realized that they are working 🙂 But, truly that not only am I participating through the videos, but the ultimate goal of me wanting these videos to have people think about taking breaks at other times throughout the day really work.  I was in the car and sitting a lot today and found myself outside the car today when I had a chance jumping around in place a little and stretching.

Sitting all day truly is killing us and our bodies and I was reminded of this while teaching yoga this week for a corporate meeting when some of the participants were saying how much they needed yoga and stretching after sitting all day.  They were exhausted and their bodies were stiff and achy.

What do you do to reset when you need a break?  Need some help?  www.dailyresetbreak.com

What do you preach?  Do you practice what you preach?  Do you want to practice what you preach or do you possibly want to start preaching a new message?  If you like it, what can you do more of to start practicing what you preach?

Do You Allow Yourself To Trust Others?

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Do you allow yourself to trust others?

A lot of times when I’m working with coaching clients, I realize how hard it is for people to trust others.

I had an interesting experience with trust last week at an acro yoga class.  Not only was it quite possibly the most challenging thing that I have ever done that left me sore for about four days, it also allowed me to push myself to my limits and play with trust and communication like never before.

When you are relying on someone to literally keep you from falling, things can get a bit scary. Trust is so important and communication is key.

Your partner has ways of communicating through squeezing your hand as one example to let you know what side they will start on (if necessary) or to verbally cue you.  You also have to trust and communicate with the person spotting you to make sure they know where you are headed and are prepared to be there to support you.

I remember doing all kinds of balancing things like “airplane” as a kid and it being really easy.  As an adult, I found it not quite as easy, but I still had a blast!

Relationships are kind of the same way.  They can be challenging and when it comes to falling for someone in an intimate relationship, things can get scary and trust becomes so important & communication is key.

Do you know the difference of listening to your gut in whether or not you can trust another person or not or whether fear is getting in the way?  I’ve become more clear on those feelings the past year or so after getting them confused in the past.  If you find yourself in a situation where you know that you can trust another person and would like to further your relationship with them, are you willing to put yourself in that scary and vulnerable position?

I think trusting and opening yourself up for an intimate and close relationship can be one of the most beautiful things we can experience.  And as long as both people commit to making communication a priority along the way, I believe that you can always get through anything even if two people end up not always wanting the same thing.

What would it take for you to trust someone enough to let them in 100%?  Would you be willing to make communication the top priority in your most important relationships and commit to finding ways to always make things work together for both people in partnership?  You just might be surprised at how much freedom and joy you could have in your relationships!

Be The Change You Hope To See In The World

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Do you know the change you hope to see in the world?

I got a t-shirt for Christmas from a girlfriend with this picture on it and it really had me ponder the saying.

And I’m inspired by a friend who is getting ready to move across country to finish out one of the biggest projects of his life that in my opinion has to do with him being the change he hopes to see in the world.

So, I’ve been asking myself…  What is the change I hope to see in the world and am I BEING that change?

This could be anything.  And you could take it to whatever extreme that you feel works for you, but do you know what change you want in the world?  If you were to take a stand for one cause or one thing happening in the world, what would it be?

Perhaps it’s just something as simple as you believe in being more green and recycling is what you are most passionate about and you always recycle and maybe even encourage others to do so and you are happy with that!

Or, it could be something that seems bigger than you like my friends project where you have no idea how it will happen or how you will get it done and it could be the scariest thing in the world, but you do it anyway.

I believe mine currently falls somewhere in the middle.

I want to help people live their lives to their fullest potential.  To stop sabotaging themselves in any way and know that they can fulfill their dreams and find true joy in their lives.  That can mean so many different things for each individual.

So, am I BEING that change?  That has been a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.  And today, I have to say that the answer is yes.  Not in a braggy sort of a way because I know it is not something that I do perfectly, but I am trying and putting forth a lot of effort to be that change.

Are there things that need improvement?  Yes.  Are there times when fear and insecurities get in the way?  Absolutely.  Do I keep trying anyway?  Always.

I was brilliant at sabotaging myself and my potential for most of my life and I made a commitment to put an end to that a few years ago.

Is it scary sometimes when I step out and do things I am nervous about?  For sure.  Is it fun when I do it anyway?  SO MUCH FUN!  Do I learn along the way?  Constantly.

Am I open to my change growing so much somehow that I get out of the “somewhere in the middle” and it becomes that scariest thing I’ve ever done?  Bring it on.

Here’s hoping that you take some time to think about what your change is that you hope to see in the world and be honest with yourself about how much you are being that change.  See if there’s anything you can commit to in order to be that change a little more.  Maybe you decide to move across the country and be it a lot more.  Either way, I think you will find more peace and joy if you put some thought and effort into it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all and I hope you enjoyed your holiday season. I certainly did! I chose to take some time off and missed a bi-weekly blog in there, sorry about that if anyone noticed and missed it, but I’m back 🙂

What Is Your Gift To Bring Out The Best In Others?

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Do you know what you do to bring out the best in others?

I realized lately that I don’t love getting my picture taken.  I’m working on launching a new product here soon and got some photos taken to go along with the project and to update my website.

I noticed how awkward I was at first and then how brilliant my friend and photographer, Hal Samples was at bringing out a different side of me that was much more comfortable and playful.

He put on just the right tunes blaring in the background to make me loosen up and I was even playing air guitar on my leg and jumping up and down a bit.  I ended up having a blast!

What is your gift that helps people feel comfortable enough that you bring out the best in them?

Are you a good listener, provide a safe space or maybe just the right amount of humor to lighten things up?

How often to you use your gift and would you be willing to use it more?

What could you start doing today to use it more so that people can benefit from your gift?

I hope some of you participated in keeping a gratitude journal leading up to Thanksgiving and that you had a wonderful holiday.  This blog is coming in late due to all my celebrating, but I had a fabulous time.  If you enjoyed keeping a journal, I’d love to hear from you.  You can shoot me an email to share any comments tessa@findyourtriessence.com

Until next time…may you find ways to continue to bring out the best in others…

Photo credits:  Hal Samples – www.halsamples.com 

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Gratitude Challenge Until Thanksgiving

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Are you up for a gratitude challenge until Thanksgiving?

Every morning I pull out a notebook and make a list when I wake up that starts with “I am grateful for” and I write down everything I can think of that I’m grateful for that morning.  I keep the notebook in a drawer next to my bed.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to start our day out with gratitude.  We have a choice each and every day to decide to be positive or negative and this is a great way to get the positive things flowing out of us and back to us.

I’ve been doing this for almost a year now and when I first started, I immediately noticed a lot of positive things flowing my way from being in that space.  Like attracts like.  If you have positive thoughts and think positive things, more will come, it’s just the way it works.

I took a break for a bit and noticed the negativity creeping back in, so I got the notebook back out and now I’m hooked.

Did you know that it is impossible for your brain to be grateful and triggered at the same time?

So, the next time you are upset about something, frustrated or anxious, try shifting your attention to things you are grateful for and see what happens to your mood.  You might be surprised how you feel afterwards.

Would you be willing to keep a gratefulness journal from now until Thanksgiving?  And then on Thanksgiving Day, you could make an even longer list of all the things you are thankful for and then decide if you want to keep it going after the holiday.

A lot of times I repeat things on my list, but I’m sure we could get creative and make them original every single day if we really wanted to!  Even if you think you have nothing to be grateful for, I promise, you do!  It could be as simple as having a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a computer to be reading this on and vision to be able to read.  With the cold weather here, I think about the fact that there are so many people in the world that don’t even have heat and I cannot fathom what that would be like to have to sleep in those conditions, which makes it easy for me to be grateful for a warm house and bed, if anything.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and may you find many things to be grateful for along the way.

How Are You Recovering From Halloween?

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How are you recovering from Halloween?  What do you think of when you think of Halloween?  What are your favorite things to do?

With Halloween being one of my favorite holidays since I love getting dressed up and having fun, I’ve never really thought about some of the things that Halloween represents.

I mean, where did trick or treat come from anyway?  Like, do people ever actually do a trick for a child vs. giving them candy?  What does that even mean?

It’s kind of ironic for me that it is one of my favorite holidays since I like to think of myself more of wanting to spread joy and fulfillment vs. darkness and gloominess with all the scariness that takes place.

So, if you’re left with a big ole bunch of candy, now what do you do?

What can you do to take care of your body and/or your children so we don’t all get sick from eating too much sugar?

One thing I’m incorporating lately is buying fruit to have on hand for when I have a chocolate craving.  Just last week alone to prepare, I bought apples to eat with peanut butter, plums, peaches, oranges and bananas.  Guess I thought I was going to have a lot of sugar cravings!

Just one idea to possibly incorporate when you’re pushing your edge with any leftovers.  Perhaps stick with the Halloween theme over the next week and pick up an orange when you want to go for the candy.  Your body may love you for it!

You could also consider adding in some extra movement this week.  Maybe pick up an extra yoga class, run or work out for the week.  Or if you haven’t been getting any workouts at all in lately, just commit to one.  Going on a walk outdoors is one of the best things you can do for your mind, body and soul!  Plus, if you’re in Texas like I am, it’s feeling great outside, so get out there and enjoy it!

HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN!!!!

P.S. I meant to send this on Friday and that didn’t happen, so I had to redo this to make sense post Halloween.  My apologies for being late!

P.S.S. I might have just finished eating a bite size Snickers and M&M pack.

P.S.S.S.  Therefore, it’s all about moderation so you don’t make yourself sick or send your body into sugar shock.  Or, go out there and find friends and other people to pass the candy along to and maybe you can put a smile on someone else’s face and do something healthier for yourself 😉

Thank You, National Coach Academy!

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I wanted to take the opportunity for my bi-weekly blog to give a special thanks to National Coach Academy for reviewing TRIESSENCE this week.

http://www.nationalcoachacademy.com/triessence-coaching-our-comprehensive-review

I am honored to be featured on their website.

It’s always interesting to see or hear the way others describe you or your business.  I really enjoyed the points that stood out for them about how my life coaching services are different from others and the way they explained what TRIESSENCE means.

Thank you again very much, National Coach Academy!  I really appreciate it!

What Do You Do When The Power Goes Out?

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What do you do when the power goes out?

I’ve been without power since yesterday around 4:30 PM.  I kept thinking it would come back on, but it hasn’t.

The storms in Texas have caused hundreds of thousands of people to be without power the past few days and it sounds like 100,000 homes are out just in the area I live in alone, in Dallas.

Driving around to try and catch a yoga class last night seemed impossible.  And actually it was because I didn’t make it in time.  Most of the stoplights were out.  I had people jet out in front of me running these imaginary stoplights and it seemed that frustrated people were all around.  Once I made it to where I wanted to go, I couldn’t even find a parking place because the shopping center was so packed with people circling around three floors of a parking garage to find a space, so I just left and went to eat dinner instead.

It took my boyfriend 3 hours to get home last night and it took my sister an hour and 1/2 to drive a mile and 1/2.  She had her 2-year-old little girl in the car and had to get creative on how to entertain her.  She picked up dinner in the car and just improvised with what was in front of her until she got home.  Smart woman 🙂

It was hot last night and a little hard to sleep, but it made me think about all of the things that we take for granted and it made my gratefulness journal easy to write in this morning. I am grateful that I have a comfortable bed to sleep in and that I can find rest.  I am grateful that I have electricity (normally ;).  I am grateful that I have things that keep me warm and cool me off when I sleep.  I am grateful that we have the ability to switch a switch on the wall and can automatically see much better.  It’s amazing how even after hours of walking around with a flashlight and seeing by candlelight, you still switch it on out of habit over and over again.  It made me laugh each time.

We can complain, get worked up in traffic, yell, scream and get frustrated and feel like crap or we can decide to enjoy the silence when lying in bed thinking about what it was like for people back in the day when they had no electricity and count all the things we have to be grateful for and look forward to when we have it again.  I’m choosing the latter.

So, as I sit here on a hard bench in a restaurant in a tiny spot where I could find an outlet to charge my phone, be on my computer and get wifi, I’m grateful that I could find a place to get some work done.  I’m also choosing to find things I can appreciate about the others surrounding me that our in the same situation I am after catching myself from starting to be annoyed that their voices were too loud and annoying because they were so close to me 🙂 I promise life is much more fun this way.

What can you choose to be grateful for despite your circumstances today?

Have You Heard That Sitting Is The New Smoking!?!?

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Have you heard that sitting is the new smoking?

Perhaps I’ve been sitting under a rock lately because I just heard about this earlier in the week.  I can’t believe that sitting at our desks all day working is compared to being as bad for us, if not worse, as smoking.

I had already heard of articles being written saying things such as “we are dying at our desks” but this put it into even more of a perspective for me.

How many of you sit at a desk all day?  And do you actually take time to get up and walk around?  Perhaps you have a stand up desk available that you use sometimes?

I’m excited to be doing an event next week with a group where not only will I be able to do a “Reset Break” to help break up their two day meeting and re-energize them so they can retain all they need to, but I will get to teach them tools and techniques to take back to the office to help get them moving and stretching at their desks.

More info on the “reset breaks” can be found here on the top link on this page:

https://findyourtriessence.com/physical/

What is something you could do next week to start bringing more movement into your day?  Would it be possible to take a walk when you are on a conference call?  Stand at your desk when talking on the phone?  Can you walk to lunch?  Maybe take a walk around in the halls when you are coming up with creative ideas?

Here are three great stretches you can do at your desk to get the blood flowing that are great for your circulation, along with other great benefits.

1)  Stand and stretch your arms up over your head.  Interlace your hands and spin your palms towards the sky.  Relax your shoulders down your back and take a big inhale.  On the exhale, stretch your arms over to the right.  Hold a few deep breaths in and out through your nose, come back to center and repeat on the left.  This improves circulation and can help refresh your body and mind.

2)  Chair twists – Sit in a chair, preferably without arms.  Swing your knees together over to the right side with your feet on the floor, (ankles stacked beneath your knees) and twist to the right by grabbing on to the back of the chair (or if the chair has arms, face your knees forward and when you twist, grab the arm of the chair).  Take a few deep breaths in and out through your nose and go a little deeper on each exhale.  This can help release toxins and relieve fatigue and depression.

3)  Stand with your feet hips width distance apart and bend forward with your arms towards the ground in a forward fold.  Try to release your head and let it relax and hang heavy.  Let your arms hang towards the floor or you can grab opposite elbows with your hands.  Forward folds help ease irritability and anxiety.

Here’s hoping you can find ways to incorporate more movement into your work day as I’d hate for any of us to end up dying at our desks 😉

Until next time…just say NO to sitting all day!!!