Tag Archives: fear

Top 5 Things To Get You Through Thanksgiving Without Feeling Stuffed And Miserable

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Thanksgiving is creeping up upon us and we all know what that means.  It’s a time to stuff ourselves until we are absolutely miserable to where all we can do is barely make it to the couch to nap or go into a food coma and be anything but present or fun to those around us.

Here are my top 5 tips to help you get through Thanksgiving without feeling stuffed and miserable.  And for some, let me just add in that being with family, sadly, can be miserable and it can be an opportunity for us to get triggered or upset with or without any good reason.  So, with that in mind…

1)  GRATITUDE, GRATITUDE and more GRATITUDE.  Did you know that your brain cannot process fear and gratitude at the same time?  Which means, when we are triggered – in other words –  upset, annoyed, irritated or angry (possibly with family members), the best thing for us to do is to go to a place of gratitude.  Even though we don’t necessarily feel fear in all of those circumstances, it is hidden somewhere underneath, so practicing gratitude as much as possible during Thanksgiving is not only great for keeping your cool, but also certainly fits right in with the theme of the holiday 😉

2)  More protein & veggies and less carbs – Do you ever stop and look at how much protein you are really taking in each day?  It would be great if you were getting 60-80 grams a day.  I’ve heard in Asian cultures, they get closer to 100 grams a day and don’t even have a word for hot flashes!  Two eggs in the morning is only 12 grams if that tells you anything, so try to look for other great sources to bring in more protein throughout your day, especially in the morning.  This will help stabilize your blood sugar for the day so you get less crashes.  There are some great non-meat sources of protein as well if you are vegetarian or would like to bring in more protein, along with your meat.  Orzo and quinoa are some great sources of protein that I’ve been loving lately.  Both are great as sides or in a salad.

3)  Know when enough is enough when it comes to eating.  A great way of doing this is to slow things down.  When we are shoving things into our mouth so quickly, a lot of times we can keep going longer than if we take it slow and enjoy what we are eating.  It’s another great opportunity to go back to #1 and appreciate and have gratitude for the wonderful food you are eating, that you have food on the table and possibly friends or family to eat it with and company to enjoy.

4)  Go on a walk right after you eat your biggest meal.  It’s the last thing you will want to do, trust me.  But, it’s also the best think you could do for yourself.  If you could make it a goal to walk after EVERY meal, even better!  This is actually the best thing diabetics could do as well because it helps stabilize your blood sugar so you don’t get the crashes and ups and downs from your food turning into sugar.  Give yourself this gift after that big meal that may be in your future this week!

5)  Practice turning your focus to others and try to have fun, even if it’s hard in some cases.  If things with the family get tense, try to lighten the mood a little.  If anything, even if you are the only one, try to bring some fun to the conversation or something as simple as smiling and telling those around you that you love them or simply showing them my listening to their stories or hugging them and just spending time with them.  When we take our attention off ourself for a while, it’s amazing how people can see how present you are being with them and that alone can usually lighten the mood quiet a bit.

I wish you all a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

May you remember all that you have to be grateful for in your life…

Not So Halloweeny FEAR & Moving To Monthly Blog Posts

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Fear

I hope you all had a safe and Happy Halloween!  Today, I thought it would be appropriate to talk about FEAR considering the holiday that we celebrated this weekend.

This is a photo I took months ago at a Blue October show in Dallas.  The lead singer, Justin, is an inspiration of someone who has overcome a lot of fear in his life, not to mention, an incredibly talented performer.

From a list ranging of things from drugs, alcohol and suicidal thoughts, I’ve heard him say how he had times where he’d play a show and not only not be able to be present with the audience, but that he’d meet people and not remember them.  Sadly, I can relate.  I hated myself for so long and didn’t even realize it, so I’d continue to do things to hate myself to stay in that familiar place.

It took me many years of working with multiple coaches to work through all of my mess to where I could love myself and want the best life I could have.  Now, my greatest passion is helping others be able to do the same.  I love helping people see the ways that they are sabotaging their greatness so that they can live their life to their fullest potential.

A few months ago, I was being interviewed for a friends book where she was interviewing female entrepreneurs and since she is a performer herself, she asked me the question “if you could have a theme song for your business, what would it be” where I replied, “Fear, by Blue October” which I know was a very odd response.

I then explained how I used to let FEAR run my life and that I would sabotage myself all the time and that this song was so inspiring to me to see the transition that Justin has made in his life and it is a reminder for me to keep pushing and believing that anything is possible, including the joy that I have been able to find over the past few years after being so miserable for so long.

I saw Blue October in Richardson, Texas at a show a few months after this one above where Justin was so connected to the audience that he even came out and jumped around and sang with us.  Now, I’ve been privileged enough over the past 12 years to book and work with multiple celebrities to speak at events and even gotten to meet a few of my biggest idols, so I’ve noticed over the years that sadly nothing seems to phase me anymore…so, it was a joy to be giddy with my husband and our friend as we were walking away from the show saying “I touched him” like we were in high school, lol.  What a joy to see someone transform so much into such a powerful influencer with a very strong and inspiring message to share with others.  It is always an honor to see him perform and makes my heart sing with joy.

If you’ve never seen Blue October’s video for the song FEAR, CLICK HERE and for an extra bonus, here is the ACOUSTIC VERSION.

Here is a PREVIOUS FEAR POST that I wrote about where I shared in more detail all of the things I used to be scared of and how I managed to go towards them and not let the FEAR win.  Since that post, I got married (9 months ago) and have spoken to groups of hundreds of people and both of these things that I would have thought to be so scary in the past have brought me so much joy.

I also had an experience where I spoke in front of some of the top speaker agents in the world and had more fear penetrating through my body than I knew possible and wanted so bad just to run off the stage and quit, but I worked through my shaking, terrified trembling body and voice and did it anyway.  I managed to loosen up a bit before it was all over, but it prepared me to now speak in front of hundreds of people and be okay with it.  If we can manage to continue to put ourselves in situations that scare the crap out of us, it gets easier and easier and we can live out our greatness and do what we were born to do, as a result.

What causes you fear that you know you really want to do?
What steps can you take today, this week, this month to go towards that thing so you can stop sabotaging your greatness?

Are you willing to commit to taking a scary step so you can find true joy and be the person you are here to be?

TRIESSENCE has moved to a monthly blog post versus bi-weekly, so my apologies in waiting so long to get one out.

In the meantime, I hope you find a way to figure out something that scares you, but you know you want to do and DO IT ANYWAY.

Are You In Love With You?

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Are you in love with you?  I hope so.

I strongly believe that in order to be able to fully love another and give the best of yourself and love someone as they deserve to be treated and loved, you must be in love with you first.

Sometimes, that can sound like a stretch, so perhaps as a starting point, we could say that you at least need to like yourself a whole big bunch.

Unfortunately, for many years, I didn’t have much love for myself.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  I pretty much couldn’t stand myself.  I didn’t know this for a very long time, but I feel so fortunate that I finally figured this out.

Learning to love myself wasn’t a super quick or easy process, but it was the best gift that I could have ever given myself as well as anyone else in my life that receives love from me.

There are many people that I love in my life and I feel like those people have gained a better me and get more love from me by me being able to work through things I needed to and then fall in love with myself.

And I can honestly say that I am head over heels in love with someone romantically and have more love for this person than I ever knew would be possible.  And again, I feel that he benefits from me being able to love myself now.

This self-love is not a conceded love or a selfish love and allows me to have a healthy love with others.  My romantic relationship is the best one I have ever had in my life and I feel it is because I have learned to love myself.  When you learn to love yourself and can be secure in who you are, you can then be secure in your relationships.  We are loving, open and passionate with one another and have trust, respect and confidence in our relationship and it is also a very relaxed, yet fun relationship!  I am convinced that would not be possible if I didn’t love myself.  First off, for me to figure out what I actually wanted in a relationship and then, second, for me to then actually love myself enough to let myself take in all of the overwhelming feelings (in a good way!) that come with being in love and being very close to someone!

I honestly think I spent the majority of my life not loving myself up until a few years ago.  I would self-sabotage myself all the time in multiple different ways.  I would let my fears and insecurities keep me from doing everything I would dream of doing and being.  I would do things to hurt others because I was hurting on the inside.

I’m not saying times can’t creep back in there sometimes.  Last week, due to a certain fun time of the month for my female friends out there (I know, sorry excuse, but it just is what it is ;)) I was feeling totally crappy in general and about myself.  Basically, I had no love for myself for a few days and was doing nothing to show love to myself either to make myself feel better.  I didn’t take a break or rest or do yoga or take a long bath or get a massage.  I just kept ignoring how I was feeling and became grumpier and yuckier.

Unfortunately, my sweet love had to receive the end of that and the impact of how I was feeling.  I was downright pretty much mean and judgmental and spoke my mind about things that I had no business talking about when I felt bed and was one of the most opinionated people on the planet (or at least it felt like it).  Luckily, it only lasted a day or so, but I don’t like the person I was being when I wasn’t loving myself and I know he didn’t either even though he was sweet enough to put up with me and continue to be nice even when I wasn’t (probably crossing his fingers it would pass asap ;)).

I recognized what was happening and did nothing about it.  Had I done a better job of pulling myself away and given myself space and did something for myself and shown myself love and chosen to love myself anyway, that probably wouldn’t have happened.

Therefore, I have made a commitment in the future when I know that is happening to make sure and remove myself from a situation where I could say hurtful things or not be coming from my best, which normally, is a place of love.

I am fully committed to living my life from a place of love and when I see myself moving away from that place to quickly do something to get myself back to it.

My wish for you, not only today, but all days, is to find ways to love yourself.  If you can find things to appreciate and love about yourself, your love and relationships will be so much better.  If you are having a day where you are feeling all alone and like you don’t have someone to share this special day with, spend time loving yourself.  Write down three things you love or can appreciate about yourself and then find one thing you can do for yourself this afternoon or evening to show yourself love.

What do you love to do?  Go on a walk?  Paint?  Listen to your favorite music?  Read a book?  Take a long bath?  Watch a fun movie and relax and lay on the couch?  Whatever you know makes your heart smile, go and do it today!

Here’s wishing you and yours a Happy Valentine’s Day and a wonderful and safe weekend.

So much love and then some xoxoxo