Tag Archives: relationship

I Got Married Friday…Are You Happy About It?

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Josh+Tessa-68

I got married Friday…are you happy about it?

What an odd question, right?

What I mean by that is what does something like a happy moment like this for me bring up for you?  Are you happy and excited for me or do you have any thoughts around how you wish you were married or engaged, wish your relationship was still fresh and new or even thinking that I’m crazy for getting married!?!?

And, what do you want for yourself?

Because if you want a relationship or you want marriage and you look at people who are right in the middle of it and you have any other feeling other than joy and happiness for that person, you just might be causing a relationship to be further and further out of reach for you.  Or, at least a really healthy one or one that you will want long term.

Let me back up a minute so this doesn’t sound like I’m coming from a harsh place as I want this to come from the most loving place as possible…

I was listening to webinar recently about huge business and financial success and I loved that what I gathered from it was the reminder that if those things are something that you want and when you see others that have it that if we are happy for them, we can attract that even closer to ourselves.  Like attracts like.  And yes, I believe in prayer and timing and all sorts of other things too, but I also know without a doubt in my mind that like attracts like.  If we are having the best day of our life, we come in contact with other happy people.  If we are negative Nelly, somehow we come in contact with negative people.  And the list goes on and on.

My favorite thing that this guy said (from memory, so butchered a bit I’m sure and I so wish I could remember his name to reference him here!) was if you look at the guy driving the Porsche and you have any sort of negative views around people with money and stereotypes such as people with money are bad people in any way and you want to be a good person, then you will never be as wealthy and successful as you want to be because what you want and what you think and believe don’t match up.  Or if you obviously think that you could never afford something like that, more than likely you won’t ever be able to.  He suggested thinking “wow, he must have done a lot of great things for people to be able to afford a car like that” instead and I loved that!

I met my husband (oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just typed husband!) when I was in the healthiest place I’ve ever been in in my life emotionally and spiritually and it is no surprise to me that I attracted someone that also was in that healthy space.  And yes, it might have taken me years of personal development to get in that space and not so much for him, but hey, we are all different, right!?!?!? 😉

But, for about a year before we met, I was surrounded by people a lot younger than I am getting married and I could have easily slipped into the whole mindset of “I’m going to be alone”, “I’m getting too old”, etc.

But, you know what?  I wanted a relationship and I dreamed of a healthy relationship with so much love and respect for one another and there was never an ounce of doubt in my mind that I was not going to have a beautiful one.   And I do.

And, I do.

With tears of joy and wishing you the same…

Photo credit:  Emily Davis – http://emilydavisphoto.com Taken at our engagement on a rooftop in Denton, Texas 🙂

Do You Allow Yourself To Trust Others?

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acro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you allow yourself to trust others?

A lot of times when I’m working with coaching clients, I realize how hard it is for people to trust others.

I had an interesting experience with trust last week at an acro yoga class.  Not only was it quite possibly the most challenging thing that I have ever done that left me sore for about four days, it also allowed me to push myself to my limits and play with trust and communication like never before.

When you are relying on someone to literally keep you from falling, things can get a bit scary. Trust is so important and communication is key.

Your partner has ways of communicating through squeezing your hand as one example to let you know what side they will start on (if necessary) or to verbally cue you.  You also have to trust and communicate with the person spotting you to make sure they know where you are headed and are prepared to be there to support you.

I remember doing all kinds of balancing things like “airplane” as a kid and it being really easy.  As an adult, I found it not quite as easy, but I still had a blast!

Relationships are kind of the same way.  They can be challenging and when it comes to falling for someone in an intimate relationship, things can get scary and trust becomes so important & communication is key.

Do you know the difference of listening to your gut in whether or not you can trust another person or not or whether fear is getting in the way?  I’ve become more clear on those feelings the past year or so after getting them confused in the past.  If you find yourself in a situation where you know that you can trust another person and would like to further your relationship with them, are you willing to put yourself in that scary and vulnerable position?

I think trusting and opening yourself up for an intimate and close relationship can be one of the most beautiful things we can experience.  And as long as both people commit to making communication a priority along the way, I believe that you can always get through anything even if two people end up not always wanting the same thing.

What would it take for you to trust someone enough to let them in 100%?  Would you be willing to make communication the top priority in your most important relationships and commit to finding ways to always make things work together for both people in partnership?  You just might be surprised at how much freedom and joy you could have in your relationships!