Vulnerability Is The Birthplace Of Innovation, Creativity And Change

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“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”  

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brené Brown

I was reminded of this beautiful quote from Brené Brown this evening after I decided to have a vulnerable conversation with someone that I care deeply about.  The funny thing about it is the person I was having a conversation with is the same individual that passed along this quote to me a few months ago when it was featured in one of Mastin Kipp’s “The Daily Love” articles.  Mastin shares some great stuff on his blogs.  If you haven’t ever heard of him, it might be worth taking a minute to check him out!

Have you ever felt like if you were to ask everyone that you know for their advice on the way you are wanting to move forward on something that they would all say whatever you do, DO NOT DO what you are wanting to do and the way you are wanting to go about doing it?

Well, that happened to me today.  But, I did it anyway.  And I’m so glad that I did.  You see, today I decided to be totally vulnerable with someone that I care deeply about and I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, but I did it anyway.  I was shaking and my heart was pounding and I was so nervous about the outcome, but I did it anyway.

And you know what?!  I survived.  And in the end, it turned out to be such a beautiful thing and a wonderful conversation.  I think that sometimes people think that we can share too much with one another and that sometimes things are better left unsaid.  I believe that if something seems so important to you that you know that you will not be able to get through it without sharing, then I disagree.

As long as our vulnerabilities are coming from a place of truth and love and how it is for us vs. blaming the other person, I believe it’s hard for things to go wrong.  Granted the other person has to be open enough to be able to sit with you in your vulnerable state, but if they aren’t, I still believe it’s great to do it anyway so that you can see that and make a decision of whether or not that person is worth someone that you will choose to invest more time in by allowing them in to see your whole self or not.

I am committed to speaking what is true for me as embarrassing or silly that I think that it is and as scary as it may seem that someone could think that I am sharing too much information.

Is there something that you have wanted to say to someone, but you get too nervous or feel too vulnerable to go towards that particular conversation?  I’d like to encourage you to do it anyway.  And even if it doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had in mind and if the other person isn’t open to receiving it, be proud that you put yourself out there anyway and don’t let it make you afraid to do it again.

Because you know what?  One of these days you will be lucky enough to have a situation like I did this evening where the other person totally appreciates you for who you are and is thankful for your honesty and vulnerability.  And that, my friends, can be the start of a very beautiful relationship.

Here’s wishing many beautiful conversations in the near future for each and every one of you.

I Used to be Absolutely Paralyzed by Fear

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I used to be absolutely paralyzed by fear.  I did nothing that deep down inside I was yearning to do.

Had you told me I was insecure, I would have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy.

And then I learned that I was so incredibly insecure and absolutely paralyzed by fear.  Like possibly one of the most insecure and terrified people out there.

My worst nightmare would have been for you to put me in front of a room or at a “club” and ask me to dance.  I felt so stupid because I grew up performing all of my life.  Therefore, it would have had to have been perfect.  I couldn’t play music or sing because it would have to be good enough to be on stage.

I couldn’t be a yoga teacher because I would never be good enough and besides, “I had no idea what I was doing” anyway.  I couldn’t be a life coach because I was too afraid that I wouldn’t be able to help anyone and I certainly couldn’t start my own business because it could fail.

I was afraid of truly giving myself 100% in a relationship and being vulnerable, open and honest and loving someone completely and allowing someone to love me because I was afraid of getting hurt.  That fear had me walk all over people and end up hurting them instead.

Once I knew the truth, it literally set me free.  It became a challenge for me to face each one head on and you know what?!?!  While some have been harder than others, most have been so much fun and freeing that they bring so much joy in my life.

As of today, I am a business owner.  I am a life coach.  I am a yoga instructor.  I am a dance teacher.  I am taking guitar lessons.  I am writing.  I am happy.  I have so much joy in my life.  I am vulnerable.  My heart is open and full of love to be shared.

When I’m taking guitar lessons and my instructor asks me to sing along at the same time to take my mind off what I’m doing with the guitar, I’m absolutely petrified and my voice shakes, but I choose to do it anyway.

As a recovering perfectionist, I am able to laugh at myself when I mess up in a dance class, when I pause in a yoga class because I have no idea where I want to take my students next or say something that sounds completely ridiculous (to me) or I get tongue tied.

And I’ll tell you one thing I do know for certain…it’s a much more enjoyable, joyful life than the one I lived before.  I’d rather sound and look like a total moron and be having the time of my life than be absolutely paralyzed by fear and doing nothing.  A paralyzed life is one based in misery.  Trust me, I’ve been there.

When I feel the fear come up now I am able to catch it and make a decision to shift into knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to and enjoy the ride along the way.

You can do absolutely anything you want to do if you make a decision to face the fear and take the first step.  Then the second.  And then the third.  Each step along the way shows you that you can take the other.  You really do just have to take the first step.

The fact that I’m writing a blog is a miracle in itself.  I’ve always said that I write like a 5th grader.  But, you know what, who cares, I will continue to write from my heart and whether or not I’m writing it just for myself or something may strike a chord for one person and speak to you, then for that I am so grateful.

I’d like to challenge you to start doing something you’ve been talking about doing that you might be afraid to do.  Pick up an instrument, write the book, get a new job, start dating, start working out or have that difficult conversation you’ve been needing to have.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Have the courage to say “I’m sorry” or the courage to say “I love you” even if you cry a little or your voice shakes.  And trust me, mine shakes ALOT.  And then peace and joy quickly follow for myself and hopefully others.

You too have something to say or share with others and beauty inside of you that is just dying to get out and shine.  Let your beautiful light shine.  As Kyle Bidlack (one of the most beautiful friends that I have) always signs off saying and I wish this to each and every one of you beautiful souls…  Shine On… (actually for you Mr. Bidlack, that’s shine on… 😉 thank you my amazing friend)

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
– George Addair