Vulnerability Is The Birthplace Of Innovation, Creativity And Change

Posted on November 9, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

– Brené Brown

I was reminded of this beautiful quote from Brené Brown this evening after I decided to have a vulnerable conversation with someone that I care deeply about. The funny thing about it is the person I was having a conversation with is the same individual that passed along this quote to me a few months ago when it was featured in one of Mastin Kipp’s “The Daily Love” articles. Mastin shares some great stuff on his blogs. If you haven’t ever heard of him, it might be worth taking a minute to check him out!

Have you ever felt like if you were to ask everyone that you know for their advice on the way you are wanting to move forward on something that they would all say whatever you do, DO NOT DO what you are wanting to do and the way you are wanting to go about doing it?

Well, that happened to me today. But, I did it anyway. And I’m so glad that I did. You see, today I decided to be totally vulnerable with someone that I care deeply about and I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, but I did it anyway. I was shaking and my heart was pounding and I was so nervous about the outcome, but I did it anyway.

And you know what?! I survived. And in the end, it turned out to be such a beautiful thing and a wonderful conversation. I think that sometimes people think that we can share too much with one another and that sometimes things are better left unsaid. I believe that if something seems so important to you that you know that you will not be able to get through it without sharing, then I disagree.

As long as our vulnerabilities are coming from a place of truth and love and how it is for us vs. blaming the other person, I believe it’s hard for things to go wrong. Granted the other person has to be open enough to be able to sit with you in your vulnerable state, but if they aren’t, I still believe it’s great to do it anyway so that you can see that and make a decision of whether or not that person is worth someone that you will choose to invest more time in by allowing them in to see your whole self or not.

I am committed to speaking what is true for me as embarrassing or silly that I think that it is and as scary as it may seem that someone could think that I am sharing too much information.

Is there something that you have wanted to say to someone, but you get too nervous or feel too vulnerable to go towards that particular conversation? I’d like to encourage you to do it anyway. And even if it doesn’t turn out exactly the way you had in mind and if the other person isn’t open to receiving it, be proud that you put yourself out there anyway and don’t let it make you afraid to do it again.

Because you know what? One of these days you will be lucky enough to have a situation like I did this evening where the other person totally appreciates you for who you are and is thankful for your honesty and vulnerability. And that, my friends, can be the start of a very beautiful relationship.

Here’s wishing many beautiful conversations in the near future for each and every one of you.

Do You Know When You Need A Break?

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

Do you know when you need a break?

I realized today that sometimes I do not. I had one of the worst days I’ve had in a really long time and I believe that most of it could have been avoided had I just realized that I needed a break.

I’ve had a headache for two days straight and up until about two hours ago, nothing I did helped. I became extremely irritable yesterday afternoon and it pretty much carried on through this evening.

Even though I felt really bad last night, I still decided to follow through with the plans I had made. Kind of wishing I could have a redo on that decision because I would now choose to have stayed home.

As a result of not knowing I needed to take a break and allowing myself to do so, it’s been a downhill spiral the past few days. I’ve been on a short fuse, been hypersensitive, have shut down, been flat out mean to people and was late to an appointment today. I also didn’t make it on time to a class this afternoon I was going to observe because I didn’t plan ahead well enough for the traffic during prime school zone times.

This caused five people to get the complete wrong impression of me and experience me at 30% of what I’m normally operating from when I’m at my best.

I feel like it cost me alot, but I feel fortunate to have learned such a valuable lesson. I am committed to knowing when to take a break if I’m not at my best and being OK with not accomplishing all that I had planned for that day or understanding that in some cases it really is OK to back out on plans I have made. It actually would have been the best thing for all parties involved.

Do you know when you are not at your best and need to take a break vs. feel the need to keep on going?

I’m committed to being aware of this in the future and being OK taking a break. I’m committed to taking time for myself when I need it to relax and recharge and not feel guilty about it. And I am committed to being OK saying no, especially when I know that it’s best for all parties involved. I’d like to challenge you to do the same. I believe it can potentially prevent alot of unnecessary stress, frustration and misunderstanding.

I Guess I Get Embarrassed When I Cry Sometimes…

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

I guess I get embarrassed when I cry sometimes. At least I did this morning.

I’ve been thinking alot about the way that we can judge ourselves in certain situations. And sometimes we can be our own worst critic. We’re not good enough, we could have done something better, we’re not in good enough shape, we’re weak, we’re not smart enough…and the list could go on and on.

I read an article last week about how meditating and yoga can be opportunities to observe ourselves without judgment. We have an opportunity in a yoga class or while meditating to pay attention to our thoughts and not judge them.

What if when you are in a yoga class and your body starts shaking uncontrollably for no reason that you could just be with it vs. thinking about how weak you might be in that moment or how out of shape you think you are?

I was meditating tonight and purposely didn’t judge myself when my mind wandered. I just went back to thinking about my breath and didn’t allow myself to go to the judgments of thinking that I could be a better meditator if my mind didn’t wander so much.

I typically don’t get embarrassed when I cry. I think crying can be a beautiful release and for me it usually seems like I’m one step closer to getting to where I want to be after it happens. It’s a way to see areas that might need our focus and possible changes we need to make or things we can choose to work on if we think they are important enough.

I cried this morning and I was very aware at how embarrassed I was and how stupid I felt about why I was crying. Part of it was because I was crying in front of someone that I care deeply about and that I care what they think about me.

The more embarrassed that I got, the more frustrated I became and I even started to become angry at myself.

This afternoon when I had time to sit and be quiet and still with myself and my thoughts, I decided to cut myself some slack and just realize that I was feeling exactly what I was feeling and that was exactly what I needed to feel at that moment and that is totally fine.

The more I judged myself this morning, the more frustrated I became and I began to dwell on something that wasn’t even actually reality. Had I allowed myself to just feel what I was feeling and express it without judgment, the tears would have stopped sooner and I would have been alot more loving towards myself and the other person involved in the conversation.

What is judging yourself costing you? Communication? Honesty? Joy? Peace? Love? Living your life to your fullest potential?

I encourage you to challenge yourself and try and listen to and observe yourself without judgment and be ok with what you are feeling as you feel it. Observe it, take action or decide not take action based on that information and then let it pass. I think you will be surprised at what can open up for you.

I hope you all experience some form of joy, peace and love in the next few days to come.

“The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment.” – Krishnamurti

Feeling God’s Love Through Loss

Posted on September 28, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

Do you feel God’s love during the tough times and even when you are going through loss?

My uncle passed away recently and a sweet soul recommended that I feel God’s love throughout the process as I was traveling to say goodbye to him and again when I was returning for the funeral.

Interesting that the one direction I’d like to say that I would have turned during this time may not have been the case had I not been reminded to do so.

As I sat in the hospital room with my cousin, I kept reminding myself of these wise words and kept telling myself to feel God’s love. I think one of the hardest things in life is saying goodbye, especially in the cases where you know you will probably never see someone that you love again.

As the time approached for me to say my goodbyes, I felt like a 12 year old little girl who wanted to cry out for my mommy and daddy that happened to be in the waiting room down the hall. When my cousin asked me if I wanted to be alone or if I wanted her to stay with me to say goodbye (and even though my goal was to be there for her and be strong for her), I instantly burst into tears and shrugged my shoulders and “I don’t know” were the only words I could half way mumble out of my mouth.

She gave me a minute to collect myself and I pulled it together and decided I would tell him goodbye alone. It was a sweet moment to kiss his cheek and forehead and tell him how handsome he was and that I loved him very much. I felt God’s love in those moments.

I also got to witness my cousin caring for her father in such a loving and sweet way and I was amazed at how beautiful it can be to watch life come full circle and see a daughter take care of her father when he is no longer able to do simple things for himself anymore.

She was so strong and patient and loving and kind. And again, I felt God’s love.

I felt God’s love as all of our family gathered together again for the funeral two weeks later and got to spend time together. I also felt it as we all walked down the church aisle together and sat down beside one another for the service. And again as we listened to my cousin be so strong and bravely speak about her father and tell wonderful stories and share memories and once more from a beautiful email that her brother sent out following the service sharing his personal stories.

I believe that we have opportunities daily to feel God’s love. As I drove out of town to say goodbye to my uncle and was focused on feeling God’s love, the sky looked prettier, the trees looked greener, the birds were many and flew closer than usual and beauty seemed to surround me everywhere that I went.

I believe that God’s love is always with us. Sometimes we just have to ask ourselves to be open to it and to feel it, especially in the times that we need it the most. We can feel it through love from others, seeing beautiful things, through witnessing miracles, through loss, through birth, through death or through great things happening to us and having an overwhelming sense of literally feeling like God is blessing you because he loves you so much.

Have you felt God’s love lately? If not, would you be willing to allow yourself to feel God’s love soon? What would it take for you to allow yourself to accept it? Perhaps realizing that no matter what you really do deserve it? I believe the greatest gift we can give to God is to allow him to show us how much he loves us. I wish that much love for each and every one of you today and always.

Have You Noticed Any Miracles In Your Life Lately?

Posted on September 13, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

Have you noticed any miracles in your life lately?

I truly believe that we witness miracles on a daily basis and half the time we take them for granted.

I’ve lived in San Diego twice and the first time I was there for five years. I pretty much lived anywhere from one block to one mile away from the beach the whole time.

Being at the beach and seeing the ocean is my heaven on Earth. For me, I feel like it is the place where I can be closest to God and where I can witness the most miracles.

The sun setting on the water, the colors changing every moment, the beautiful waves crashing and the sounds they make, the occasional complete silence between the waves and the sand. I believe that every grain of sand is a tiny miracle from God.

Being on vacation this week in Florida, I’m reminded at how many miracles surround us each day and how sometimes we can take them for granted. Luckily, I don’t think I really ever took the beach for granted when I lived there. I do however think it’s so cool now that I don’t live there and haven’t been in a while how I feel like my appreciation has been magnified this week.

Last night, I had the privilege of sitting with the beautiful soul that I’m vacationing with on the beach and we got to watch this beautiful sunset above while listening to some incredible music. It seemed so perfect that we even joked about how it almost seemed fake or like we were on a movie set. I felt like I was on The Truman Show and the entire evening was being designed just for me. To me, that is a miracle.

What miracles have you witnessed lately? I bet if you thought about it, you’ve witnessed alot of them. I love being able to relax and take a break and take a step back from reality and the busyness of my life to bring me back to seeing things with a fresh and new perspective.

We have the ability to witness miracles multiple times a day. A sunset. A butterfly. A snowflake. A suffering person still being able to smile. The detail on insects wings. Someone conquering their fear. Great communication. A death. A birth. Unconditional love.

As if the sunset wasn’t a big enough miracle, the picture below is what we got to witness shortly after the sun went down. My iPhone camera can’t really do it justice, but it was the most beautiful moon on the left and the brightest star on the right that once again, looked fake.

Beautiful sunset + beautiful company + beautiful music + beautiful darkness + moon and bright star = Love

Wishing you all beautiful miracles and love on your journey the next couple of weeks.

Are You Doing What You Were Born To Do?

Posted on August 30, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

Are you doing what you were born to do? This man certainly is, in my opinion…

If you’ve never seen the movie “Once”, I highly recommend it. I pretty much stopped breathing on I believe what is the 2nd song “Say It to Me Now” that he sings on the street, in the movie. I will never forget how I felt when the movie was over. Luckily, I was alone because I was so depressed and even balling at one point. The reason I was crying had nothing to do with the story line, so don’t worry, I won’t ruin it for you if you choose to watch it.

My sister happened to call me right afterwards and I must have sounded like I just found out that someone that I loved dearly had died. About 15 minutes into our conversation and being an absolute joy to talk to on the phone, I remember saying “I’m sorry, I just watched the movie Once and I’m just in a really weird mood right now”…she said “oh my gosh, why didn’t you tell me that as soon as I called?!?! I will let you go”…You see, her and I pretty much think identically, so I’m pretty sure she got exactly why I was so devastated, since she had already seen the movie.

The movie “Once” woke me up. As I was watching the movie again this week (with someone who also has the power of taking my breath away, but that’s in a whole different context and a whole different story, but just fun to mention 😉 my bad, sidetracked, sorry…), I was reminded of why. To me, Glen Hansard is the most passionate person that I have ever seen. I mean, to create the holes in the guitar above from strumming so hard, I’d call that a little passionate.

I’ve had the privilege of being on the front row at one of his shows and have seen him in concert two other times. He is absolutely flawless. It’s as if he takes me through a story in every song and I can feel every emotion that he is singing about. The time I was on the front row, he was strumming so hard that he broke a string and his finger was bleeding all over the place and he just kept on going as if nothing had happened.

In my opinion, Glen Hansard is doing what he was born to do.

At the time, when I first saw the movie, I was so tired of talking about the things I wanted to do and not doing any of them. I knew I wanted so many things to be different in my life and that I had to get down to the bottom of what it was that was keeping me from doing any of them. That’s when my whole journey of intense personal development began. Immediately.

I was then able to work through things with someone in order to find out what my blindspots were and the things that were keeping me from living my life to my fullest potential. I faced and embraced my insecurities and fears and began to learn what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to be. And I’m so happy to say that I am fully committed to living my life to my fullest potential and I truly believe that I am doing what I was born to do. Helping people live their lives to their fullest potential is my absolute greatest passion in life.

What were you born to do? One question I sometimes like to ask my clients is what is it that causes them to completely lose track of time? It doesn’t mean that is what someone needs to do for a living necessarily, but I love to get people back in touch with their gifts and things that they are passionate about.

When I am coaching someone, I have to find a way to have the time up in front of me and keep track of where we are because I could literally spend 8 hours with someone and have the time of my life.

As I was working through coming up with a name for my business, I remember thinking who do I think of when I think of someone living their life to their fullest potential? I thought of Glen Hansard. I realize I know nothing about him personally, but to me, he is the definition of Greatness (with a capital G). He helped me live my life to my fullest potential. Thank you, Glen Hansard. I will forever be grateful for the inspiration that he has given me in my life.

Are You Really Listening When Other People Speak?

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

Are you really listening when other people speak?

Do you think about what you are going to say next or actually listen to them?

Lately, I have been observing my listening patterns and I have found two different types of situations where not only did I have a hard time listening to others, but I hardly even gave them a chance to speak.

Typically, I think I’m pretty good at listening. I mean, I am a coach, so let’s certainly hope so, right?!?!

I think alot of us tend to talk alot and not listen when we are afraid we are being misunderstood. I had an experience not too long ago where I think I rattled off for about three hours straight just so the person I was talking to could understand me more and see where I was coming from and in the end I realized I couldn’t even remember the things that they said because I wasn’t even listening and was so focused on when it would be my turn again so I could continue to try and get my points across.

The next type of conversation that I had where I noticed this was with a friend who I consider to be very wise. I had alot going on one night when we were having dinner and I did the same thing. I rattled on and on for hours without barely giving her a chance to speak.

Luckily, in this case, when the “wise one” spoke, I actually still heard it, but I never once stopped and said, “hey, what’s going on with you that we can talk about” and you know sometimes wise ones need to talk and need someone to listen to them also! So later I went back and have given her a free pass to a night to talk all about her where I have promised not to steal the conversation.

What types of conversations do you not give people a chance to speak or where when they do, you are not listening?

Next time you are at dinner with someone or having a nice long conversation, pay attention to how well you are listening. When we are thinking about what we are going to say next or wondering if there will be uncomfortable silence and thinking about what kind of brilliant question we could ask next or comparing something someone said to a story in our own lives, we are NOT listening.

Most people are afraid of going into a conversation not knowing where it will lead. Would you be willing to go into your next long conversation with absolutely no agenda? Nothing you want to share. Nothing specific you want to know. Just let the conversation unfold.

People give you information to talk about if you just listen. If you let someone complete their thoughts without interrupting them and are purely listening, when they are finished speaking, you will know the next thing to say or have a great question to ask. And I challenge you to make it a question vs. a thing to say. If you ask someone one or two more questions about something they just said, I think you’ll be amazed at some of the beautiful things you can learn. But first, you must be willing to just listen.

“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.”

– Margaret Millar

Could this be the Ultimate State of Relaxation?

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

This week, as a birthday present to myself, I decided to go and do what I thought would be putting myself into the ultimate state of relaxation.

I went and did a 60 minute float in an i-sopod flotation tank full of 1,100 pounds of epsom salt, which causes you to stay on the surface of the water and float the entire time. The buoyancy is greater than the Dead Sea, so you cannot sink. Prior to the float you are given detailed instructions, which include a button to turn the light back on if you need it and a panic button.

As I climbed in the tank and was getting ready to close the lid down, I thought “what have I gotten myself into!?!?” The first 10 minutes I was just getting settled in to the idea of being in the capsule for an hour. And after 10 minutes, the lights and soothing ocean sounds shut off and you are in complete darkness and dead silence (if you choose that option, which I did).

At first, I was realizing that I now believe I know what it would be like to be trapped alive in a casket. Then, I started to tell myself that “I’ve got this” and that I know I can go for the next 40 minutes until the blue light comes back on when I have 10 minutes left.

It was a silence like nothing that I’ve ever experienced. All you can hear is the sound of your own breathing. And the occasional water drop if you move your hand that instantly had me go to a vision of “Silence of the Lambs” and being trapped at the bottom of a well (amazing where our minds can go sometimes).

I learned alot about trust and surrender that day. I had to trust that I was not going to fall asleep, roll over and drown in the water somehow. I had to trust that there wasn’t some creepy creeperson secretly checking me out in my “birthday suit” in my private room somehow and that this was a classy facility (which it absolutely was, it’s incredible :)). I had to trust that I could work through any claustrophobic feelings that would arise and that this capsule wouldn’t somehow lock behind me and I would definitely be able to get out when I was ready.

If you think you like to spend time alone, go float. It will be alone time like you’ve never had before. My friend that went with me and was floating in a different room at the same time and I were talking afterwards about how we became more aware of our thoughts and the things we tell ourselves than ever before while we were floating.

It was interesting to see how truly at every moment in our lives we are either telling ourselves something positive or something negative. Something encouraging or something that could be detrimental.

I was very aware of my thoughts and instantly realized that I could either make or break this whole experience for myself. I turned my thoughts into positive ones and told myself beautiful things about myself and the experience. I ran my fingers over my skin and felt a silkiness like no other and appreciated the benefits I was giving my mind, body and spirit. I prayed.

And then I feel like I learned the definition of surrender like never before, which is something I needed to keep learning for myself in my life. I need to trust in the perfect unfolding of my life and continue to stop trying to control things so much and just surrender and trust all that is to come.

Once I was able to surrender, I was able to relax and completely enjoy myself. I made it through until the blue light came back on. Then, at that point I thought “oh that was totally easy, I could stay in here all day now” since I could now see again.

Would I do it again? Absolutely! And anyone in the DFW area, I recommend you check out The Float Spot in Frisco because it’s amazing! And anyone in other areas, you could search for these types of floatation facilities. I’ve heard the more you do it, the more relaxed you become and that’s when you can really start to reap even more benefits of what all floating can do for you. It can help with injuries, expand your creativity, improve circulation, promote sleep, boost your immune system, reduce stress and provide the ultimate state of relaxation…just to name a few things.

We spent time before and after in a massage machine as well, which was another incredible experience that I would highly recommend. You can read more about that on the link below.

What is your ultimate state of relaxation and have you given yourself the gift of getting to experience it lately? If not, would you consider doing it soon? Birthday or not, we all deserve to give ourselves a break every once in a while and relax. To step away from the computer and put the phone away, even if it’s only for an hour. The results can be astounding and are so well-deserved for each and every one of us.

http://www.thefloatspot.com/index.html

I Used to be Absolutely Paralyzed by Fear

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

I used to be absolutely paralyzed by fear. I did nothing that deep down inside I was yearning to do.

Had you told me I was insecure, I would have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy.

And then I learned that I was so incredibly insecure and absolutely paralyzed by fear. Like possibly one of the most insecure and terrified people out there.

My worst nightmare would have been for you to put me in front of a room or at a “club” and ask me to dance. I felt so stupid because I grew up performing all of my life. Therefore, it would have had to have been perfect. I couldn’t play music or sing because it would have to be good enough to be on stage.

I couldn’t be a yoga teacher because I would never be good enough and besides, “I had no idea what I was doing” anyway. I couldn’t be a life coach because I was too afraid that I wouldn’t be able to help anyone and I certainly couldn’t start my own business because it could fail.

I was afraid of truly giving myself 100% in a relationship and being vulnerable, open and honest and loving someone completely and allowing someone to love me because I was afraid of getting hurt. That fear had me walk all over people and end up hurting them instead.

Once I knew the truth, it literally set me free. It became a challenge for me to face each one head on and you know what?!?! While some have been harder than others, most have been so much fun and freeing that they bring so much joy in my life.

As of today, I am a business owner. I am a life coach. I am a yoga instructor. I am a dance teacher. I am taking guitar lessons. I am writing. I am happy. I have so much joy in my life. I am vulnerable. My heart is open and full of love to be shared.

When I’m taking guitar lessons and my instructor asks me to sing along at the same time to take my mind off what I’m doing with the guitar, I’m absolutely petrified and my voice shakes, but I choose to do it anyway.

As a recovering perfectionist, I am able to laugh at myself when I mess up in a dance class, when I pause in a yoga class because I have no idea where I want to take my students next or say something that sounds completely ridiculous (to me) or I get tongue tied.

And I’ll tell you one thing I do know for certain…it’s a much more enjoyable, joyful life than the one I lived before. I’d rather sound and look like a total moron and be having the time of my life than be absolutely paralyzed by fear and doing nothing. A paralyzed life is one based in misery. Trust me, I’ve been there.

When I feel the fear come up now I am able to catch it and make a decision to shift into knowing that I can do anything I set my mind to and enjoy the ride along the way.

You can do absolutely anything you want to do if you make a decision to face the fear and take the first step. Then the second. And then the third. Each step along the way shows you that you can take the other. You really do just have to take the first step.

The fact that I’m writing a blog is a miracle in itself. I’ve always said that I write like a 5th grader. But, you know what, who cares, I will continue to write from my heart and whether or not I’m writing it just for myself or something may strike a chord for one person and speak to you, then for that I am so grateful.

I’d like to challenge you to start doing something you’ve been talking about doing that you might be afraid to do. Pick up an instrument, write the book, get a new job, start dating, start working out or have that difficult conversation you’ve been needing to have.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Have the courage to say “I’m sorry” or the courage to say “I love you” even if you cry a little or your voice shakes. And trust me, mine shakes ALOT. And then peace and joy quickly follow for myself and hopefully others.

You too have something to say or share with others and beauty inside of you that is just dying to get out and shine. Let your beautiful light shine. As Kyle Bidlack (one of the most beautiful friends that I have) always signs off saying and I wish this to each and every one of you beautiful souls… Shine On… (actually for you Mr. Bidlack, that’s shine on… 😉 thank you my amazing friend)

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
– George Addair

25 Habits Of People Who Are Happy, Healthy & Successful

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Tessa Todd Morgan

Love this article on 25 Habits of People Who Are Happy, Healthy & Successful!

Would you be willing to be honest with yourself and see how many of these things you are sincerely currently incorporating in your life today? Would you be willing to commit to reading these daily for the next week and then picking three that are currently missing for you and add them consistently in your life for the next three months? I think you’d be amazed at the impact it could have on your life.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-9985/25-habits-of-people-who-are-happy-healthy-successful.html

“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.”

– Margaret Millar

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. – George Addair

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
– George Addair